Starter’s Shack—Speaking in Tongues
I’ll never forget the first time I interviewed a pair of provincial Junior ‘A’ hockey players.
The two played for Dale Hawerchuk’s Orangeville Crushers and were riding high after snapping a double-digit losing streak. I don’t remember who they beat that night at the Alder St. Arena, but I do remember how amped up they were.
Thirty seconds into the post-game scrum (a nice aside: the ‘scrum’ consisted of me and the sports reporter from the rival community paper who told me weeks earlier at a high school basketball game to never trust a man with a mustache. In the hundreds of times he and I saw each other around town, this was the only time he said anything to me. I found it odd. Particularly since he had a duster himself) and I was completely lost. These two were speaking in hockey tongues using terms I had never heard.
Needless to say that the story I filed that night didn’t include any quotes from the two of them, but still managed to find its way on the front cover the Thursday issue. Orangeville is a slow news town in January.
What I’m getting at here is, it sucks when you’re not up on the dialect.
Below are a bunch of golf terms to keep you in the loop this summer. Hopefully they’ll help.
Topper’s Pizza—There’s a pizza franchise in the GTA called Topper’s Pizza. But, Topper’s Pizza on the golf course refers to a topped shot.
Snoop—Sometimes a driver is referred to as Dog or even a Big Dog. Well, the biggest dog I know is Snoop Dogg.
Tap Driver—There’s no shame in hitting a soft drive into a stiff breeze on a 215-yard par-three. Next time you do, just say you hit the Tap Driver.
Frosty—Sure, the snow might be gone in most parts of the country but you better believe Frosty the Snowman is still lurking. After making a smooth eight last week, I informed my playing partner to mark me down for a Frosty.
Bridgestone’s—My old man wore his new golf shoes for the first round of the year two weeks back. I told him that I liked his Bridgestone’s. He told me they were Ecco. He didn’t understand that Bridgestone made wheels (tires) and that wheels (tires) are just another word for shoes.
Samsonite—If your golf bag doesn’t have a carry strap, it’s a piece of luggage. Just like the Samsonite piece you took on your last trip to Acapulco.
Wagon, Chariot—I guarantee someone will walk into your proshop this year and ask for either a Wagon or Chariot. When they do, just toss ‘em the cart key.
Shoot the Cup, Shoot a Basket, Shoot the Green—You can basically shoot anything.
Rug, Carpet—Making reference to the green as a "Dance Floor" is so 1999. This is 2012 and the green is now either a rug or a carpet.